Vulnerability

vulnerability“When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability… To be alive is to be vulnerable.” 
― Madeleine L’Engle

Hello,

I wish I am finding you well and happy!

Today, I am writing the blog from a room of a friend of mine. In front of me, through the foggy window, a white blanket of snow is covering the green grass of the opposite park, enhancing the strong red of the DLR trains.

Today I feel to free write. There won’t be any topic but what I have experienced  this morning, during a call with my coach Illa Khagram from Radian Lotus, which I deeply thank for taking the time, the honesty and the integrity to bringing me back to my centre. This is what I needed.

It happens to me very often that, when things start going in the direction I want, in the direction I expect, and I got recognition for what I do, my dear friend EGO, gets a little pumped up and tend to take a strong control. I don’t really know yet how to spot the moment where my ego kicks in and sits on the driving seat. But I know that he is a very fast driver, with the foot always on the accelerator.

He wants to do it, and he wants to do it quickly. He wants results and he wants results now. He wants to feel rewarded, and he wants to feel rewarded now. He wants appreciation, and he wants to feel appreciated now. He wants to be the best, and he wants to be the best now.

My ego is very proud, I cannot deny that. And he hates the feeling of being left behind. He hates the shame of being the last.

This is very empowering because I am moved from a strong drive to grow, learn, and excel in everything I do. And is also very limiting at the same time. I rarely allow myself the time to fully grow. I rarely allow myself the time to assess the beauty of the NOW. I rarely allow myself to be humble and I rarely allow myself to be vulnerable.

I rarely allow myself to be vulnerable.

Now, while writing, a strong emotion is coming up in a tear. A gentle tear.

Vulnerability, something I often preach, but rarely practice or show.

My ego wants to feel invincible.

My ego wants to feel that he has everything under control.

My ego wants to have an answer for everything.

Like Illa said before: “I see you affected by the COACH SYNDROME!!”

My ego often wear this thick mask of knowledge, wisdom and strength that is very difficult, even for me, to see what my Shining Self is really saying and really wants. And I misinterpret his messages. On the other hand my head is very strong and I am very connected to the thinking patterns of my past, losing focus on my emotions.

Now I am here writing and crying…

It has been a long time since last time I cried…. even for joy.

It’s a beautiful, liberating feelings…. And to all the people who believe that crying means weakness… well try it and you will let me know how you feel!

Or maybe it is me that I subconsciously believe that crying means weakness, that vulnerability means weakness.

Yes!! Now I got the point!!

It is great to have an epiphany while blogging!! I know what to work on now…

I value so much the opportunity that this blog gave me today to express feelings I had stored from such a long time. Allowing me to be vulnerable, allowing me to be Me.

Your Turn 

Spend the next 10 min. being vulnerable and be true with yourself. Talk to Your Ego like you were talking to a friend and write down a letter to your Ego.

Start with: Dear Ego…………

and let your hand flow.

Don’t judge Your thoughts.

I have been introduced to this exercise,  that now I do regularly, from Illa. It always have a great Healing Power.

I’d love to hear from You and what do You think about the article.

Please Like this post if you found value here and share your awesome thoughts in the comments below.

Oh, and remember to subscribe to my weekly newsletter!!!

May You always be Vulnerable!!

Simone Vincenzi                 ~Your Power to Shine~

5 thoughts on “Vulnerability

  1. Simone, this is a beautiful post that comes straight from your heart, so I will do my best to comment from mine. Today I say Dear Ego: I know that you speak from a sense of fear and hurt, and that your strong need to speak up comes from a place of vulnerability. Today, I accept and hold dear this vulnerability, recognize it as part of my humanity, and hold it safely in my heart. My inner light is strong and true, so much that you can quiet your chatter and allow my soul to sing!

    • happysimo says:

      Thank You Angi for sharing these beautiful words of love and acceptance towards yourself. What you wrote it can work powerfully as a personal mantra that can help you and other people to be grounded and present, while acknowledging our own divinity.

      God Bless You

      Simone

  2. Peter says:

    To me vulnerability is letting go and trusting my non-conscious to give me what is in my and others best interest. It is performing non-attachment to any intended outcomes. It is also however doing whatever my intuitions feeds to me. It is moreover observing my embarrassment, guilt and jealousy and recognising how vulnerable I am. It is enjoying the emotion, knowing that it implies that I am open, adaptable and empathic. It is also probably other things.

    • happysimo says:

      Hi Peter,
      Thanks a lot for sharing your thoughts. I really appreciate your openness.
      The big word I’m hearing you say here is awareness. Awareness of your feelings and the joy of your emotions.
      I believe awareness plays a big part on this emotional game with no winner or losers.
      I’d love to hear more from you.
      I wish a continuation of the week in love and vulnerability.

      Simone

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