The power of things left unsaid

things left unsaidThings left unsaid have the power to destroy what you have created. Express your feelings at any time and don’t be afraid of the consequences. It is anyway better that don’t say anything.

Hello Guys! I wish I am finding you happy and excited about this fantastic day you are manifesting and, if it is a tough day, which it might happen, why not have a look here? The Secret of Emotional Intelligence.

Today’s post is about things left unsaid.

How many things left unsaid are you storing in the cupboard of your mind? Maybe with your colleagues. Maybe with your friends. Maybe with your family. Or maybe with your loved one.

How many emotions to express? How many emotions unexpressed? And how many feelings suppressed?

Things left unsaid can really have a negative impact on the health of the relationships with the people surrounding you. Think about your emotional storage like a pressure cooker. Less you express your emotions, less you express your feelings, more the things left unsaid build up in your guts.

What happen if the pressure in a pressure cooker is not released?

BOOOOOOOM!!!

This exactly what will happen to you if you don’t learn how to express your feelings, or if you are not willing to express your emotions and leave things unsaid.

After this brief introduction, today I’d like to talk about relationships. Yes of course, I am not a relationship expert, but I am a lover… a deep lover, and even if there is no qualification for that I can proudly show my diploma in deep love.

Ok well… I tried to be funny…

The bottom line is that loving relationships are no different than any other relationship you have with the people who you meet along your path. There are strategies and techniques to use to make sure you screw up those relationships.

One of them, and probably the most effective one, is leaving things unsaid.

When you don’t express a thought, a feeling or an emotion and you rather decide to avoid it, where do you think those thoughts, feelings and emotions go?  They surely don’t disappear at all!!

What happens then?

Thoughts, feelings and emotions are energies. Kind of energies that, if not expressed and released stick into your energetic field and build up within and around you. They got stuck into your energetic field creating blockages to the natural flow of your energetic being.

For more information about the consequences that this can have to your body you might want to read my post entitled Healing Your Body.

Can you give me an example?

Of course! Have you ever walked into a room full of people? I am sure you had… Have you ever felt like a bad or a good atmosphere around? This is exactly what I am talking about. At an emotional level we are aware of everything and every emotions stored in the energetic field of the people surrounding us. We can always SENSE how people feels and what people think. This is a skill we have been always having since the day we were born. But we have neglected it along the way somehow. It is something some people are more gifted to or others have developed through time and practice.

And if you are asking yourself…

How is this relating to relationships?

Well, the answer is simpler than you thing.

When you don’t say what you think and leave emotions and feelings unexpressed, they immediately build up into your energetic field. Causing a blockage of energy in your energetic field with all the given consequences. This is not all… The other person, maybe not consciously, is always able to pick up what it is stored in your energetic field and create a memory of that moment, of that feeling, of that emotion that can be triggered in a second time, when something similar happens. Generally, when the emotion gets triggered again, it release all the emotions that were attached to it, causing what we generally call… an overreaction.

And there is no point for me to tell you now what are the consequences. I am sure that you have experienced them… and probably more than once 😉

Can You see now how important is to be honest and express your feelings and emotions?

Why don’t we do it on a regular basis?

Well… this can be topic for another post…

KEEP FOLLOWING US!!

I’d love to hear from You and what do You think about the article.

Please Like this post if you found value here and share your awesome thoughts in the comments below.

Oh, and remember to subscribe to my weekly newsletter!!! for audioblogs, videos and motivational contents.

May You live in honesty!!

Simone Vincenzi                 ~Your Power to Shine~

 

 

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How to elicit core values.

core values“Everybody talks about values. When we talk about market values, added values, business values, people values we are referring to the inner force driving everything towards the ultimate destination”.          – Simone Vincenzi

Hello dear souls! I hope I am finding you well and happy with this post.

If you are now reading this post, it means you are looking for something deeper that what you just perceive. It means that you are looking for the reason why, the inner force that drives you towards the choices you make on a daily basis.

If you haven’t read yet the first post I have written about Values, and you are asking yourself the question What are my Core Values?, I invite you to read now also What do You VALUE the most?.

Neuro Linguistic Programming call those inner forces Core Values. This is what are our human values. An inner force that drive us towards every decision we make, each moment of our life. It is a big statement, I know! But what if this is actually true? What if we really have some moral values that are, ultimately, shaping our destiny and what we get from life? What if there is an energy that, starting from our subconscious mind direct us, like rails, on the destination we are going to achieve?

Now that we have understood how much our values are determining our whole life, the question that might pop into your head now could be:

What can I do to elicit my values?

If You are asking yourself this question you are going the find the answer in the following paragraphs.

As you understood perfectly, eliciting our values is the most important thing we can do to check if what we are doing, the actions we take and the decision we make, are in alignment with who we really are and what is subconsciously driving us.

When You are aware of what your core values are you will be able to make the right choice in every given situation,without stepping in any self-sabotaging behaviour, which 90% of the time, comes from an incongruity between our beliefs, actions and our inner values.

Can You see now how important is to be aware of your Core Values?

Now, following, you find a process that will support you during the elicitation of Your Core Values. Invite you to keep asking those questions for, at least, 5 min and dig deeper every time. Sometimes our Operational Values got hidden from our Idealistic Values.

If you want to know what is the difference between our Operational Values and our Idealistic Values you might want to read                                                            What do You VALUE the most?

Enjoy the Process and have fun while doing it. There is no right or wrong answer, just your perfect and whole being.

I invite you also to share your thought at the bottom of the page after the exercise. How did you found it?

Your turn

Now chose an area of your Life. Like Career, Fun, Family, Friends, Leisure, Health, Love, Relationships…. Pick up the area that is the most important for you right now and ask yourself the following questions.  I invite you also to write down the answers so you can keep track of your thoughts.

  1. What is most important to you in the chosen area?
  2. What else?
  3. Keep asking those questions at least for 5 min and write down the first thing that is coming up into your mind, even if it is the same of the previous thought.
  4. Then look at the way you make decision in the chosen area. Pick up a couple of times when you had to make important decisions in those areas.
  5. What Value was that decision serving? Was it adventure. security, uncertainty, love, contribution, growth, appreciation…?
  6. Now pick up another example and ask the same question.
  7. Now think about what pushes your button in the chosen area, what is that really moves you to take action?
  8. And now find the patterns. Assessing your decisions, actions, thoughts and feelings, What is the value that has been served the most.

In this post you have learnt how your core values are affecting your reality and one of the most effective way to elicit them. Now that you have this awareness I am confident you are going to assess accurately what decision to make in alignment with what is driving you.

I’d love to hear from You and what do You think about the article.

Please Like this post if you found value here and share your awesome thoughts in the comments below.

Oh, and remember to subscribe to my weekly newsletter!!! for audioblogs, videos and motivational contents.

May You live according to your values!!

Simone Vincenzi                 ~Your Power to Shine~

The secret of emotional intelligence

emotional intelligenceLife is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.  – Lao Tzu

Halo halo!! Great to connect with you again! I wish I am finding you well, happy and healthy!

As you can see from the title, today’s post is about Emotional Intelligence and the Secret of  Your Emotional Intelligence.

First of all…

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence, as the name says is the intelligence of an emotion, where Intelligence is defined as the capacity for learning, reasoning, understanding, grasping truths, relationships,facts, meanings manifesting a high mental capacity. Emotional, of the emotions. Where Emotions are defined as the flow of energy that, moving through the body, generates every feeling.

Do you mean emotions are clever?

Yes! More than you think! Studying how different emotions interact and move into the body we understood that they, like any other form of energy, have a life and respond to our thoughts, actions and intentions.

See your emotions as a friend that gives you an answer for every question you make. Your questions are your thoughts, conscious and subconscious. We are constantly thinking and constantly asking questions that are answered by God, The Divine, The Universe, The Quantum Field (however you want to name it) with an emotion. Emotions, as Gregg Braden says, are the language in which we communicate with God and vice versa.

Using the personification of an emotion we can easily see that if we treat a friend with love, respect, care, appreciation and gratitude, we are going to develop a long lasting friendship.

If we, instead, neglect our friend, forget about him, don’t take care about him and escape from him, this friend is going to be very angry and react to us in an aggressive manner.

You are telling me that our emotions behave like living beings?

You got it!! Our emotions, if nurtured, cared and accepted are going to take care of us in return. If not, they are going to be very upset and to raise their voice because they want to be heard.

Let me ask you a question…

Do you prefer a friend who try to change you and want you to be somebody else, or a friend that accept and love you as you are, because who are you?

If your answer is the first… well, is better you assess who is surrounding you…                      If your answer is the second you can perfectly understand how an emotion can feel when not accepted. If you, on the other hand, accept the emotion fully and appreciate it as it is, you will experience a major shift in that emotion, who will express your gratitude towards you.

 Are you saying that if I express my gratitude and appreciation towards an emotion, no matter what the emotion is, I will feel a shift in the emotion?

Yes! This is how Emotional Intelligence work! Emotions, as every other energy, act like a mirror. They will reflect you back what you are sending out. In other terms I am talking about the Laws of Attraction. What you send out, you are going to get back.

This is why is so important to accept and nurture you emotions constantly. More Love, Appreciation, Gratitude, Acceptance you send out, more Love, Appreciation, Gratitude, Acceptance you are going to receive from your inner world.

This is just a little slice of the fascinating world of emotions.

If You want to know the most effective technique to Accept Your Emotions keep following us!! I am going to share a juicy technique I use daily that made major shifts in my life and in the life of million of people around the world.

I’d love to hear from You and what do You think about the article.

Please Like this post if you found value here and share your awesome thoughts in the comments below.

Oh, and remember to subscribe to my weekly newsletter!!! for audioblogs, videos and motivational contents.

May You appreciate and accept your emotions!!

Simone Vincenzi                 ~Your Power to Shine~

Frustration? You are Welcome!!

frustration“When experiencing frustration, you can let frustration lead you or you can lead frustration to support you in what you want to get.”                       My inner voice.

 

It is a dark, cold Friday night of February. The living rooms of the small houses surrounding me were enlightened by the soft moving shades of the television screen or by a luminous halo pending from the sealing.

It is 20.30. The cold weather of London, is now starting penetrating into my bones.

I lost the sensitivity on my hands and feet long time ago and I am now just waiting for somewhere warm where to rest my body.

Me and my friend Raphael have been walking constantly, with fast pace since 3.30, time of the beginning of the shift.

Yes, just the 2 of us today to make a difference for the people affected by cancer that McMillan is brightly supporting.

It is 20.30.

After 5h of hard work we were been able just to get 1 sign up…

The end of the shift is getting closer and the temperature is dropping. Dozens of people don’t even come to the door or don’t want hear abut us…

It is in that moment, while knocking in front of number 1, Palmer Street, that I catch myself saying:

“Why am I doing all this?” “Who is making me work as a door to door foundraiser?” “Why can’t I find a job in the warmth of an office?”

Is in that moment that I catch these thoughts, running wildly into my head.

I felt really down. And more I let myself down, more the people were responding negatively to me, slamming doors in front of my face.

Is in that moment that I decided to have a small team leading session inside my own head.

For an easier writing I’ll call my frustrated self F and my motivational self M. I hope you will enjoy the little drama that was going on inside my head in that moment.

M started this motivational talk saying to F:

“I know you feel frustrated, I know you are not getting what you were expecting from the day, and I know it is tough keep walking with the same level of energy for 5 hours, under this cold weather. And I am sorry you have to experience all this. I am sorry you have to go true such a tough moment.”

F replied: “Thank you… I really need a brake… I cannot keep working this way… I feel too frustrated.”

“Well, I agree with you, just stop for a minute and have a sip of water. I am sure you will soon feel better…” continued M.

So I stopped, and took a large glass of water from the termos I was carrying inside my bag.

M then continued:

“You know F, you know how the Universe works. All the difficulties you are facing along the way are a gift for you. This is your present now. I know you are aware that just challenging yourself you can grow and develop the skills that will allow you to overcome future challenges.”

M was right, I knew inside that I am creating this reality and what I am manifesting is what I need to grow and develop spiritually, mentally and physically. I knew it… but somehow that knowledge slipped into a remote place of my mind.

M kept on saying: “You are going to always experience frustration in your life when you are not getting what you want. There is nothing wrong. Frustration is a human feeling and is part of our perfection. There is nothing you can do about that. What you can do instead is to manage your frustration and let her be your best ally.”

F went silent for a while allowing M to move on with the talk.

“When experiencing frustration, you can let frustration lead you or you can lead frustration to support you in what you want to get. You know you have the power to do it. You know you have the power to understand, lead and manage your emotion in the way that will serve you manifesting what you really want.”

“Wow… What a great motivator!!!” Another voice, that now I call G, popped up from nowhere said to me.

M then took the leadership of my mindset and my emotional state, guiding F towards every door and handling in the best possible way every situation that came up afterwards.

5 minutes to 9.

Last door and then the shift was over.

A gentle and beautiful woman from Hungary opened the door greeting me with a beautiful smile. It seems she was waiting just for me. We started laughing and talking about food, holidays, Hungary and Italy. Needless to say that she wanted to sign up immediately allowing me to raise founds for McMillan and reaching my best personal and team score as a team leader since I started working for Home Foundrasing.

I kept believing I could make it until last minute, until last door.

I kept my motivation high and did the best I could each door I knocked.

It seems that the Universe was testing me and observing me, pushing me to the point where I had just to choices: Drop or Win.

I won, I won the inner battle that was taking place between my hears, handling it with the warmth and wisdom of my heart.

 

It is in those days that I realise how much I have developed, how much I have changed and I much I still have to grow.

It is in those days that I thank the Universe for what is giving to me and for what I am manifesting in my life.

It is in those days that I would like to see and give him/her an HI FIVE for the perfection of each moment.

 Your Turn

Now I invite you to think about a challenging situation you have experienced recently you could handle in a better way.

Reflect above the following questions:

 

  • What were you saying to yourself?
  • What could you say instead?
  • What are you going to say next time it will happen?

I’d love to hear from You and what do You think about the article.

Please Like this post if you found value here and share your awesome thoughts in the comments below.

Oh, and remember to subscribe to my weekly newsletter!!! for audioblogs, videos and motivational contents.

May You always lead frustration!!

Simone Vincenzi                 ~Your Power to Shine~

 

 

 

What do You VALUE the most?

Values-cartoon“Our Values and Beliefs are the driving force of our life.” Tony Robbins

Hi, I wish I am finding you well and full of energy!! Following a meaningful conversation, I had yesterday with a dear friend of mine from Italy, about what moves people’s behaviours and actions I realised I didn’t post, so far, anything about Values. So I take the chance to explore deeper the subject with you with this blog post. 

I believe firmly now that our Values and our Beliefs determine the attitude we have towards life and therefore what we gain in Life.

So, What are our Values?

Our Values are the labels, the emotional state that we value the most in every area of our life. We have different emotional states, that we are constantly looking to meet or to avoid. We have made these “choices” in the early days of our growth, borrowing them from our parents, society and all that had an influence in our life.

If I ask you:

 “What is most important to you in Life?”

Everybody is going to come up with a different answer. This answer is one of the Values that are ruling his life.

 Values are single words that express a defined emotional state that we want to reach or avoid.

We have different Values for every area of our life. We have values for finances, relationships, health, leisure, etch…. and they are subconsciously driving us, conditioning our life and ultimately control our destiny. Moreover, our values, being subconscious patterns, play a mayor role on what we attract in our life.

 You definitely agree with me that:

 “What we attract in our Life is a mirror of our inner values and beliefs.”

Having awareness of the values that rule our life, is the first step on taking control of our life and understand why we make certain decision and why we act and behave the way we do.

 Awareness is always the key.

 We can divide our values into 2 different categories.

 

  1. Moving Towards Values
  2. Moving Away From Values

 Each category is divided into 4 different sub-groups:

 

  1. Mean Values
  2. End Values
  3. Idealistic Values
  4. Operational Values

 

MOVING TOWARDS AND MOVING AWAY FROM VALUES

 As previously said, Values are single words that express a defined emotional state.

 You agree with me that in life there are some emotional state that we want to reach and emotional state that we want to avoid. Isn’t it?

 

  1. Moving Towards Values: Are the Values, the emotional state that we want to feel, These pleasurable states that we value most are the ‘Moving-Toward’ values because these are the emotional states that we will do the most to attain. Some of these values are:

Love, Success, Freedom, Intimacy, Security, Adventure, Power, Passion, Comfort, Health.

 

  1. Moving Away From Values: Are the Values, the emotional states we do the most to avoid.

Rejection, Anger, Frustration, Loneliness, Depression, Failure, Humiliation, Guilt.

 We always have a hierarchy of Values in each area of our life and we always have, in each category, one that is most important for us.

 The awareness of our Values is the first step of living the life out of integrity and purpose you are committed to live.

 One interesting thing, that you might not know, is that conflicting values are the source of our self-sabotage. We might value success as Moving Forward Value, and we might fear rejection as Moving Away From Value. How can a person be successful if afraid of facing rejection? As soon as that person will feel rejected it will instantly sabotage himself and his success.

 Can You see how important are our Values?

 Now I just want to give You a brief introduction about the other sub-groups of your Values System.

 

  1. Mean Values: Family, Friends, Work, Life… These are just the surface, they are not the feelings we are looking for.
  2. End Values: These are the feelings. This is what we are looking for. They answer the questions: “What is most important to me in……?”, “How does……….makes me feel?”
  3. Idealistic Values: Are the values that we want to achieve in the future, or that are ideal for us, but not necessarily the ones that are operating now.
  4. Operational Values: The Moving Towards Values and Moving Away From Values that are operating at the moment.

What are Your values?

What is controlling the direction of your life right now?

Your Turn

I invite you now to consciously make the effort to explore your values and to make it a priority. You will understand so much about you and you’ll be able to make, consciously, the best choice in alignment with who you truly are.

In the next post I will share with you the most effective exercises to elicit your core values in every area of your life.

I’d love to hear from You and what do You think about the article.

Please Like this post if you found value here and share your awesome thoughts in the comments below.

Oh, and remember to subscribe to my weekly newsletter!!!

May You always follow your passion!!

Simone Vincenzi                 ~Your Power to Shine~

 

Passion and Dream

dreams“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” 
Walt Disney 

Hi,

I wish I am finding you well and happy!

Today I feel like sharing with you a little story. I found inspiring lines on internet, while researching for my coaching program          Live Your Purpose, Live Your Life.

CLICK HERE TO KNOW MORE

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE AUDIO

This story is about dreams, determination, self-belief and passion. The pearl closed in the shell of the following words is invaluable and I invite you to deeply reflect about how this story relates to your own life.

 

“The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?” I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze.

“Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked. She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of kids..” “No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. “I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk non-stop I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine” as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she revealed in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.”

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.”

She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.” She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

How many dreams did you give up because you became too “old” to pursue them?

I’d love to hear from You and what do You think about the article.

Please Like this post if you found value here and share your awesome thoughts in the comments below.

Oh, and remember to subscribe to my weekly newsletter!!!

May You always follow your passion!!

Simone Vincenzi                 ~Your Power to Shine~

 

Vulnerability

vulnerability“When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability… To be alive is to be vulnerable.” 
― Madeleine L’Engle

Hello,

I wish I am finding you well and happy!

Today, I am writing the blog from a room of a friend of mine. In front of me, through the foggy window, a white blanket of snow is covering the green grass of the opposite park, enhancing the strong red of the DLR trains.

Today I feel to free write. There won’t be any topic but what I have experienced  this morning, during a call with my coach Illa Khagram from Radian Lotus, which I deeply thank for taking the time, the honesty and the integrity to bringing me back to my centre. This is what I needed.

It happens to me very often that, when things start going in the direction I want, in the direction I expect, and I got recognition for what I do, my dear friend EGO, gets a little pumped up and tend to take a strong control. I don’t really know yet how to spot the moment where my ego kicks in and sits on the driving seat. But I know that he is a very fast driver, with the foot always on the accelerator.

He wants to do it, and he wants to do it quickly. He wants results and he wants results now. He wants to feel rewarded, and he wants to feel rewarded now. He wants appreciation, and he wants to feel appreciated now. He wants to be the best, and he wants to be the best now.

My ego is very proud, I cannot deny that. And he hates the feeling of being left behind. He hates the shame of being the last.

This is very empowering because I am moved from a strong drive to grow, learn, and excel in everything I do. And is also very limiting at the same time. I rarely allow myself the time to fully grow. I rarely allow myself the time to assess the beauty of the NOW. I rarely allow myself to be humble and I rarely allow myself to be vulnerable.

I rarely allow myself to be vulnerable.

Now, while writing, a strong emotion is coming up in a tear. A gentle tear.

Vulnerability, something I often preach, but rarely practice or show.

My ego wants to feel invincible.

My ego wants to feel that he has everything under control.

My ego wants to have an answer for everything.

Like Illa said before: “I see you affected by the COACH SYNDROME!!”

My ego often wear this thick mask of knowledge, wisdom and strength that is very difficult, even for me, to see what my Shining Self is really saying and really wants. And I misinterpret his messages. On the other hand my head is very strong and I am very connected to the thinking patterns of my past, losing focus on my emotions.

Now I am here writing and crying…

It has been a long time since last time I cried…. even for joy.

It’s a beautiful, liberating feelings…. And to all the people who believe that crying means weakness… well try it and you will let me know how you feel!

Or maybe it is me that I subconsciously believe that crying means weakness, that vulnerability means weakness.

Yes!! Now I got the point!!

It is great to have an epiphany while blogging!! I know what to work on now…

I value so much the opportunity that this blog gave me today to express feelings I had stored from such a long time. Allowing me to be vulnerable, allowing me to be Me.

Your Turn 

Spend the next 10 min. being vulnerable and be true with yourself. Talk to Your Ego like you were talking to a friend and write down a letter to your Ego.

Start with: Dear Ego…………

and let your hand flow.

Don’t judge Your thoughts.

I have been introduced to this exercise,  that now I do regularly, from Illa. It always have a great Healing Power.

I’d love to hear from You and what do You think about the article.

Please Like this post if you found value here and share your awesome thoughts in the comments below.

Oh, and remember to subscribe to my weekly newsletter!!!

May You always be Vulnerable!!

Simone Vincenzi                 ~Your Power to Shine~