How to elicit core values.

core values“Everybody talks about values. When we talk about market values, added values, business values, people values we are referring to the inner force driving everything towards the ultimate destination”.          – Simone Vincenzi

Hello dear souls! I hope I am finding you well and happy with this post.

If you are now reading this post, it means you are looking for something deeper that what you just perceive. It means that you are looking for the reason why, the inner force that drives you towards the choices you make on a daily basis.

If you haven’t read yet the first post I have written about Values, and you are asking yourself the question What are my Core Values?, I invite you to read now also What do You VALUE the most?.

Neuro Linguistic Programming call those inner forces Core Values. This is what are our human values. An inner force that drive us towards every decision we make, each moment of our life. It is a big statement, I know! But what if this is actually true? What if we really have some moral values that are, ultimately, shaping our destiny and what we get from life? What if there is an energy that, starting from our subconscious mind direct us, like rails, on the destination we are going to achieve?

Now that we have understood how much our values are determining our whole life, the question that might pop into your head now could be:

What can I do to elicit my values?

If You are asking yourself this question you are going the find the answer in the following paragraphs.

As you understood perfectly, eliciting our values is the most important thing we can do to check if what we are doing, the actions we take and the decision we make, are in alignment with who we really are and what is subconsciously driving us.

When You are aware of what your core values are you will be able to make the right choice in every given situation,without stepping in any self-sabotaging behaviour, which 90% of the time, comes from an incongruity between our beliefs, actions and our inner values.

Can You see now how important is to be aware of your Core Values?

Now, following, you find a process that will support you during the elicitation of Your Core Values. Invite you to keep asking those questions for, at least, 5 min and dig deeper every time. Sometimes our Operational Values got hidden from our Idealistic Values.

If you want to know what is the difference between our Operational Values and our Idealistic Values you might want to read                                                            What do You VALUE the most?

Enjoy the Process and have fun while doing it. There is no right or wrong answer, just your perfect and whole being.

I invite you also to share your thought at the bottom of the page after the exercise. How did you found it?

Your turn

Now chose an area of your Life. Like Career, Fun, Family, Friends, Leisure, Health, Love, Relationships…. Pick up the area that is the most important for you right now and ask yourself the following questions.  I invite you also to write down the answers so you can keep track of your thoughts.

  1. What is most important to you in the chosen area?
  2. What else?
  3. Keep asking those questions at least for 5 min and write down the first thing that is coming up into your mind, even if it is the same of the previous thought.
  4. Then look at the way you make decision in the chosen area. Pick up a couple of times when you had to make important decisions in those areas.
  5. What Value was that decision serving? Was it adventure. security, uncertainty, love, contribution, growth, appreciation…?
  6. Now pick up another example and ask the same question.
  7. Now think about what pushes your button in the chosen area, what is that really moves you to take action?
  8. And now find the patterns. Assessing your decisions, actions, thoughts and feelings, What is the value that has been served the most.

In this post you have learnt how your core values are affecting your reality and one of the most effective way to elicit them. Now that you have this awareness I am confident you are going to assess accurately what decision to make in alignment with what is driving you.

I’d love to hear from You and what do You think about the article.

Please Like this post if you found value here and share your awesome thoughts in the comments below.

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May You live according to your values!!

Simone Vincenzi                 ~Your Power to Shine~

What do You VALUE the most?

Values-cartoon“Our Values and Beliefs are the driving force of our life.” Tony Robbins

Hi, I wish I am finding you well and full of energy!! Following a meaningful conversation, I had yesterday with a dear friend of mine from Italy, about what moves people’s behaviours and actions I realised I didn’t post, so far, anything about Values. So I take the chance to explore deeper the subject with you with this blog post. 

I believe firmly now that our Values and our Beliefs determine the attitude we have towards life and therefore what we gain in Life.

So, What are our Values?

Our Values are the labels, the emotional state that we value the most in every area of our life. We have different emotional states, that we are constantly looking to meet or to avoid. We have made these “choices” in the early days of our growth, borrowing them from our parents, society and all that had an influence in our life.

If I ask you:

 “What is most important to you in Life?”

Everybody is going to come up with a different answer. This answer is one of the Values that are ruling his life.

 Values are single words that express a defined emotional state that we want to reach or avoid.

We have different Values for every area of our life. We have values for finances, relationships, health, leisure, etch…. and they are subconsciously driving us, conditioning our life and ultimately control our destiny. Moreover, our values, being subconscious patterns, play a mayor role on what we attract in our life.

 You definitely agree with me that:

 “What we attract in our Life is a mirror of our inner values and beliefs.”

Having awareness of the values that rule our life, is the first step on taking control of our life and understand why we make certain decision and why we act and behave the way we do.

 Awareness is always the key.

 We can divide our values into 2 different categories.

 

  1. Moving Towards Values
  2. Moving Away From Values

 Each category is divided into 4 different sub-groups:

 

  1. Mean Values
  2. End Values
  3. Idealistic Values
  4. Operational Values

 

MOVING TOWARDS AND MOVING AWAY FROM VALUES

 As previously said, Values are single words that express a defined emotional state.

 You agree with me that in life there are some emotional state that we want to reach and emotional state that we want to avoid. Isn’t it?

 

  1. Moving Towards Values: Are the Values, the emotional state that we want to feel, These pleasurable states that we value most are the ‘Moving-Toward’ values because these are the emotional states that we will do the most to attain. Some of these values are:

Love, Success, Freedom, Intimacy, Security, Adventure, Power, Passion, Comfort, Health.

 

  1. Moving Away From Values: Are the Values, the emotional states we do the most to avoid.

Rejection, Anger, Frustration, Loneliness, Depression, Failure, Humiliation, Guilt.

 We always have a hierarchy of Values in each area of our life and we always have, in each category, one that is most important for us.

 The awareness of our Values is the first step of living the life out of integrity and purpose you are committed to live.

 One interesting thing, that you might not know, is that conflicting values are the source of our self-sabotage. We might value success as Moving Forward Value, and we might fear rejection as Moving Away From Value. How can a person be successful if afraid of facing rejection? As soon as that person will feel rejected it will instantly sabotage himself and his success.

 Can You see how important are our Values?

 Now I just want to give You a brief introduction about the other sub-groups of your Values System.

 

  1. Mean Values: Family, Friends, Work, Life… These are just the surface, they are not the feelings we are looking for.
  2. End Values: These are the feelings. This is what we are looking for. They answer the questions: “What is most important to me in……?”, “How does……….makes me feel?”
  3. Idealistic Values: Are the values that we want to achieve in the future, or that are ideal for us, but not necessarily the ones that are operating now.
  4. Operational Values: The Moving Towards Values and Moving Away From Values that are operating at the moment.

What are Your values?

What is controlling the direction of your life right now?

Your Turn

I invite you now to consciously make the effort to explore your values and to make it a priority. You will understand so much about you and you’ll be able to make, consciously, the best choice in alignment with who you truly are.

In the next post I will share with you the most effective exercises to elicit your core values in every area of your life.

I’d love to hear from You and what do You think about the article.

Please Like this post if you found value here and share your awesome thoughts in the comments below.

Oh, and remember to subscribe to my weekly newsletter!!!

May You always follow your passion!!

Simone Vincenzi                 ~Your Power to Shine~

 

Passion and Dream

dreams“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” 
Walt Disney 

Hi,

I wish I am finding you well and happy!

Today I feel like sharing with you a little story. I found inspiring lines on internet, while researching for my coaching program          Live Your Purpose, Live Your Life.

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CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE AUDIO

This story is about dreams, determination, self-belief and passion. The pearl closed in the shell of the following words is invaluable and I invite you to deeply reflect about how this story relates to your own life.

 

“The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, “Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?” I laughed and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze.

“Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked. She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of kids..” “No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. “I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk non-stop I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine” as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she revealed in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.”

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.”

She concluded her speech by courageously singing “The Rose.” She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

How many dreams did you give up because you became too “old” to pursue them?

I’d love to hear from You and what do You think about the article.

Please Like this post if you found value here and share your awesome thoughts in the comments below.

Oh, and remember to subscribe to my weekly newsletter!!!

May You always follow your passion!!

Simone Vincenzi                 ~Your Power to Shine~

 

It is all about Sharing

parrots_sharing“HAPPINESS IS ONLY REAL WHEN SHARED” 
― Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild

When the lights of your successes shine on you… When you will be recognised for all you have put in what you do… When the joy of the prize touches you… That very joy, is nothing when the same is shared with somebody meaningful, somebody that can colour your life with the magic of Love. In that very moment, you don’t want to be alone, You don’t want to live that event by yourself.

I believe that every moment of our life, without judging it as sad, challenging, happy or joyful, when shared with somebody meaningful, it absorb another taste, a sweet taste enriched by the sweetness of love.

No matter what is that we go through in Life, when somebody else is part of that moment with the intention coming from a place of Love, something magical happen, and the meaning of the event is enriched 100 times more.

I’d love to share these thoughts with you because this is what I have been experiencing in the last few years of my life.

After moving to London and set up my life, I was so caught up in my duties, achievements, goals and parties that I neglected myself the gift of creating a meaningful, loving relationship.

I ended up celebrating a lot of success, most of them by myself or with people who didn’t mean a lot in my life.

Don’t get me wrong, it is not that I don’t appreciate my own company or I am not able to do, what I call. “INNER CELEBRATION”. But at the same time there is a spice that is missing, there is a flavour that could be enriched.

This spice, this flavour is called SHARING.

I believe that we, as human beings, we are born to share. Whether we do it consciously or not we are constantly sharing our feelings, emotions, thoughts and actions with all other living beings through our consciousness field and affecting what Young called our Superconscious or Collective Mind.

When this process has been made conscious, through our desire of sharing, the concentration of  energy created is so strong that the connection, between the living beings experiencing the event, starts writing gentle notes on the pentagram of that melody.

We feel happier, we feel more meaningful, we feel a greater sense of belonging. Belonging to that person, belonging to humanity, belonging to ourself.

Yes, I said belonging to ourself because I believe that the outer world is a mirror of our inner world, of who we really are inside, what we believe and what we value.

Being so, I also believe that those meaningful people who come to enrich every moment of our life, have the power to help connecting deeper within ourself. To get in touch and let out all the love and the care that resides within us.

This is because those people are so precious. This is because they are like jewels to preserve and care. To preserve and care with no attachments. With the awareness that one day, they will maybe move on to enrich the life of another person with the missing taste.

I am deeply grateful that after so many years I had the chance to experience it yesterday night, at the NCS 2012 Autumn graduation when (I am aware that this is my ego speaking…) I have been awarded with the Stand Out Staff Member prize after my first job as a Youth Coach. In that moment I was surrounded by all the people who made it possible: my mentor Steve, all the young people on the program, the other Youth Coaches and the member of the Future Foundations.

And it wouldn’t be the same if my girlfriend wouldn’t be there, seated at the back of the room, with a silent smile. During the night our sights crossed just a couple of times. But her eyes were saying to me: “Well done Simo, I am here for You.”

Her presence was the most beautiful gift of the night.

The bottom line is, don’t limit yourself and the experiences you are living. Share it with the all the meaningful people around you, people who can enrich your life with their support, care and love.

Thank You Silvia for sharing your Life with me and enrich my days with the sweet flavour of your love.

Your Turn

  • Think about all the meaningful people you have in your life.
  • Now think about all the meaningful people you’d like to have in the happiest moment of your life.
  • Who would you like to share the happiest moment of your life with?
  • Now take the time to tell them how you feel about them and why they are important for you. Don’t take for granted they know you love them.

I’d love to hear from You and what do You think about the article.

Please Like this post if you found value here and share your awesome thoughts in the comments below.

Oh, and remember to subscribe to my weekly newsletter!!!

May You always share!!

Simone Vincenzi                 ~Your Power to Shine~

LOVE

love-inspirational-daily“A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, a man cannot live without Love.” Max Muller 

Hi,

I wish I am finding you well and in Love.

Today, as you can see by the picture, I am going to talk about Love.

I want to talk about Love in a way I have never done before.

I took out some scratch notes I wrote during my travel in Gran Canaria. 4 days… Just myself and the nature. Sleeping on the beach, under the stars and climbing mountains during the night in order to taste the sweet colours of a gentle sunrise.

While moving and walking, my head started wondering and thinking about Love.

Yes I was in a deep loving and connected state in that moment and I decided to frame my feelings in words written on a blank paper.

This is the translations of 2 ages I wrote about love during the holiday. Maybe my thoughts are changed now… but that was me and I don’t want to change what that Me had thought in that moment. It feels very unusual for me going through these notes, as I haven’t reviewed them for 1 year now.

I leave You enjoy this written monologue entitled.

LOVE

After a long day of walking, witnessing the magnificence of Mother Nature on top of the Roque Nublo, and blessing this experience with all my Love, now I found myself close to Tejeda and, freeing the flow of my thoughts, I found myself to give an ABSOLUTE definition of Love for me. Retracing my mental journey, the monologue has followed these traits.

Starting identifying Love with the act of creation, I established the syllogism LOVE=CREATION. If CREATION=LIFE. So LOVE=LIFE. 

Following Eastern Philosophies and the discoveries from Quantum Physics, in my opinion, what we usually call God, or Energy, can be called also Love, because principle of creation. Likewise I can say that Life is nothing but Love, and just Loving unconditionally I can re-connect with the substrate, letting go of the veil of Maya of duality.

Also, chemically speaking, our body is designed for Love.  Just surrendering to Love, our body release the hormones necessary for Life. 

Assuming that LIFE=LOVE, my question has been: “Why have we restricted a concept such vast and absolute to a feeling, for the most limited to few people (friends, loving relationship,family..) Historically I cannot find an answer to this question.

Then I’d thought to distinguish between Absolute Love and Relative Love.

Relative Love is the Holliwood Love with which we have grown up. A limited feeling, directed mostly to other human beings close to us. It is called Lobby Love. It is an extension of the Absolute Love and it represent one of his Infinite Realities. It is pure idealisation, that takes shape from a predetermined set of emotions, whereby for semantic similarity, it has been called Love. Despite the romantic connotation and the pleasure of the feelings it is limited in time and space, but at the same time necessary to understand the transcendental concept of Absolute Love.

Absolute Love is the perfect and complete realisation of the Relative Love. It is the love of a cell for the body in which it lives, of the mother for a son, of Mother Earth for her inhabitants and of the Universe with his Creatures. It is Creation. Pure Creation. It manifests Itself in millions of ways……….(incomprehensible)…..”

This is what I wrote last year after my 10h walk in Gran Canaria… It might sounds a bit confusing …. And I believe this is the beauty of it. It has not been contaminated, it has been always kept secure.

It reminds me of what I was feeling and how I was  feeling in that moment of my life….

With Love

Simone

 

I’d love to hear from You and what do You think about the article.

Please Like this post if you found value here and share your awesome thoughts in the comments below.

Oh, and remember to subscribe to my weekly newsletter!!!

May You always create LOVE!!!

Simone Vincenzi                 ~Your Power to Shine~

 

 

Your Inner Child

inner childLook inside, you’ll find a deeper love, the kind that only comes from high above. If you’ll ever meet you inner child, don’t cry, no, no. Tell him everything is gonna be alright. Bob Sinclar

Today’s post is entitled Your Inner Child and We are going to tap into Who is Your inner child, why is important to make constant contacts with your inner child, how to get in touch with your inner child and finally, I’m going to give you more references if you feel attracted by the topic.

Are You ready? Great!!! Let’s start then!!

You are maybe asking Yourself now,

Who is my inner child?

Your Inner child is the emotional side of you,  that part of you that, like a child, needs love. That part of you that needs to be embraced.  That part of you that needs to be nurtured. That part of you that needs you fully.

What do you mean?

When we grow up it seems we forget or we feel ashamed to love ourselves.

Look at a little baby, he loves and explore every inches of his body, with curiosity and a sense of wonder. A little baby is perfect to his eyes. Everybody wants to stay around them. And they bring happiness and joy everywhere they go. But somewhere along the way, we lost that magic, we lost that wonder, we lost that love for ourselves.

What happened then?

We started buying in what other people told us we had to be or not, in what other people told us we were capable of or not, and we started forgetting and denying our original beauty.

It was painful for us to shine because of the judgements of other people. It was painful for us to show fully our beauty because of the reactions of other people. And we decided that was safer to accommodate others needs, and reflect others expectations. That was the moment where we decided to close, into a remote room, our Inner Child.

It was all conditioned by our past experiences.

And now…Why is important to open that room? Why is important to nurture our Inner Child again?

The answer is simple. Take a moment and look around you, how many people complain about themselves? How many people don’t like themselves? How many people don’t love themselves? How many people find always something wrong in themselves?

Working with clients and meeting people around the world I’ve been often asking the question: tell me 3 thing you LOVE about yourself. You know what the most common answer I received has been? I DON’T KNOW.

And You know what disconcert the most? The 80% of Young people told me that they didn’t like nothing about themselves. What is this telling you?

How is it possible that with all the beautiful qualities, gifts, skills and resources that we have, is difficult to be aware of these and to find what we Love about ourselves?

Well… How can I get back now? How can I re-learn to appreciate and love Myself?

We can heal ourself through our emotions. Our emotions are an amazing tool for healing.

How does it work?

It is very easy. I’ll show you now. Think now about something You love, something that makes you happy, something that you really care about? What do you feel? What do you experience inside your body? Some people feel a sense of relaxation, some others feel a tingling sensation around the heart… there is no right or wrong feeling. everybody has is own feelings.Now focus that feeling towards yourself, and go in front of a mirror. Direct those feelings towards yourself while saying, “I love You and accept You as You are.” Now, Find a mirror and do it now. Say three times, I love you and accept you as you are, I love you and accept you as you are. I love you and accept you as you are.

Because the reality is that you are perfect as you are. that there is nothing to change in you. that there is nothing to change in your reality and what you are experiencing. That everything is perfect as it is. And you have a right to be loved, and you have a right to receive. Embrace fully who you are, and what you are experiencing. this is part of your meaning, this is part of your mission and you are here for a reason.

If You want to know more and have a deeper understanding on how to communicate with your Inner Child You can look into Luise Hay and her work. She is a healer and a metaphysical teacher. One of the authorities in the self-help industry. she has more than 30 years of experience in the field. One programme that really inspired me and had a great impact on my life is called You can Heal Your Life.

Now I want to leave You with the wish that Your  Love for Yourself will grow minute after minute. And that you’ll be able to experience all the Joy and the real Happiness that just loving yourself can give You.

I’d love to hear from You and what do You think about the article.

Please Like this post if you found value here and share your awesome thoughts in the comments below.

Oh, and remember to subscribe to my weekly newsletter!!!

May You always Love Your Inner Child!!!

Simone Vincenzi                 ~Your Power to Shine~

 

Beliefs: a simple definition

beliefs“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their life and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their life.”  Anthony Robbins

Have You ever met a person that behaves in a different way than You? Have You ever met a person that seems to act as if everything was possible? And have you ever met a person who lived their life playing small, stuck in his own daily routine and never thriving for more? What is the difference between those people? What is that make a person achieve what for other people seems impossible?

Henry Ford answered this question in a very simplistic but profound way saying that: “Whether you believe you can or you can’t, you are right”.

 

Starting from these powerful quotes from Anthony Robbins and Henry Ford we can start to understand the impact and the role that our beliefs play in our lives. But before getting deeper into details is necessary to have a foundation about what they are and how they develop.

What is a belief?

The dictionary definition says a belief is: “A principle accepted as true or real without a proof . An opinion, a conviction”. 

Anthony Robbins define a belief as “A feeling of certainty that shapes the direction of our life.”

Beliefs are the thoughts and ideas that are no longer questioned. They have the power to create or destroy, because every thoughts, expectation and action is a direct result of such beliefs, and they shape the direction of our life.

Beliefs are the lens, the filter through what we see our and other people’s life. They decide the meaning we give to our experiences.

Where do our beliefs come from?

They come from other people like parents, teachers, peer group, friends, family, media, religion and society. From anyone who had or is still having an influence over us.

They are mainly formed subconsciously during childhood and adolescence.

 

When we are children our brain is like a little sponge and our experiences are what the sponge take in. This sponge doesn’t have the capability to distinguish what is good or not for us, what is positive and negative. It takes everything in, growing and growing.

Sometimes the message we receive from the outer world, from our experiences, are not always empowering  and encouraging, and maybe once we learned that we were clumsy, stupid, not good enough, not beautiful etch…. and in that moment, we made the decision, perhaps, that it is not safe to speak up, that we don’t deserve an amazing life, that we cannot do certain things because we are limited. We kept buying into our limitations repetitively, and that behaviour became so integrated into ourself that it became automatic, and we lost the awareness of it, accepting it as normal and setting it as our personal standard. Forgetting our reality, forgetting that the decision we made was based on somebody else’s belief about us.

Wow… so Who I am now and what I believe about myself has been shaped through years by other people…

Yes, and this is how we form our sense of identity. Our identity is just a set of beliefs we borrowed from other people. And I’m not saying that this has been always negative for us. Also the positive things we believe about ourself come from the same process. But behavioural scientists and child psychologist generally accept that children, under the age of five, receive ten or more negative phrases from their parents for every single positive one.

mmm… does it mean there is nothing I can do about it?

It is exactly the opposite! We have a lot of different tools that used all together can create everlasting results and positive changes in our life. In the following posts I’m going to share with You what I found most effective after several years of experiences.

Your Turn

When talking about beliefs, the most important thing we can do at the beginning is to be aware of them, without judgement. A belief is a thought that we repeat over and over again and that has an high emotional intensity.

One way to spot our negative beliefs is to have little notebook with us through the day and, whenever we catch ourself thinking a thought, write it down. In this way we create our Thoughts Journal.

Make the commitment for the next 3 days to write down all your thoughts you become aware of. If it is difficult to remember the task, write a note or set a reminder on your phone with the question: “What am I thinking now?”

You’ll be amazed by the result. And that will be the starting point to embrace your current limiting beliefs and change them with empowering ones!

I’d love to hear from You and what do You think about the article.

Please Like this post if you found value here and share your awesome thoughts in the comments below.

Oh, and remember to subscribe to my weekly newsletter!!!

May You always believe in Yourself!!

Simone Vincenzi                 ~Your Power to Shine~

Overcoming Challenges: The fine art of Acceptancy

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA“I embrace the imperfections and celebrate them.”             Kesha

Struggles, desires, challenges, wants and needs. Sometimes, through the storms and winds of everyday’s challenges,  it seems there is no time or space to enjoy Life. It feels we are like little hamsters, trying to keep up running on our wheel of bills, responsibilities and duties.

Until last year I was running on this wheel. My thoughts were focused on how to pay my bills, how to have enough money for my basics, where I was going to get waisted on the weekend or planning a holiday in the best place to get waisted.

That thoughts and that lifestyle, even though I enjoyed it, don’t resonate with me any more. I’m now looking for something else, I’m now looking for a deeper meaning behind my actions and outcomes.

So, one sunny day of July 2011, motivated by the insightful and eye-opening Experience Week in the spiritual community of Findhorn in Scotland, the spiritual teachers and motivators I was listening to, I choose to change. I choose to take responsibility of my Life. I choose to identify my purpose and do the best I could do to live with integrity and do my part in the world. I choose to make the first step and allow the abundance I deserved to come into my Life.

From that moment, the moment I took that decision, my Life unfolded in ways I would never expected….

I’ve been given more challenges than before, more deep dark moments, more situations in which I didn’t now how I was going to make it. But it wasn’t all. Alongside with challenges I’ve been given all the help and the support to mature, grow and overcome them. I’ve been meeting loving people who became the friends that never hesitated to help me when I was in need and to celebrate joyful and happy moments. I’ve been given all the opportunities I was looking for in the field I’m working and I’ve been given the wisdom to follow through every tough moment.

…well… Have You ever found Yourself asking the question “Why me?” “Why do I have to through all this crap?”

You bet it!!! And it wasn’t long time ago since the last time. Have You ever experienced these moments where everything seems to go wrong? where health, finances and emotional balance seems to say goodbye, take a flight and go in holiday in the Canary Islands? It was one night, stuck in my bad with a terrible headache, I decided to listen to one of the conference call from the online seminar, Healing with the Masters, hosted by Jennifer McLean, interviewing the spiritual teacher Panache Desai.

It was the first time for me to hear his Truths. His words resonate within me immediately and his message, so clear and straight to the point, like an arrow, brake through my heart.

… and what was his message?

His message was very simple and comforting. I broke it down for You in little steps.

  • STRESS IS OUR CLOSEST FRIEND. IT SHOWS US WHAT CHANGES WE HAVE TO MAKE IN OUR LIFE.
  • THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU AND YOUR LIFE.
  • THERE IS NOTHING TO FIX.
  • EVERYTHING IS PERFECT AS IT IS. YOU AND THE REALITY YOU ARE EXPERIENCING.
  • EMBRACE EVERY MOMENT, EVERYTHING THAT YOU FEEL AND HAPPENS TO YOU.
  • EVERYTHING THAT YOU FEEL AND HAPPENS IS THE OPPORTUNITY YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOUR GROWTH. 

His key message is to EMBRACE AND ACCEPT OURSELVES IN THE WAY WE ARE AND OUR EXPERIENCE AS OUR GREATEST MASTER.

I’ve heard these concepts before, but now I was ready to really listen and learn.

And if You are here, it means You are now ready. If You are here it means that You want something more from Life and that You want to give more.

Well, I’m not saying this is easy to do, and I’m not saying that the pain of some experiences is easy to overcome. And it is fine to experience that pain, it is fine to experience that sorrow, it is fine to experience that frustration. There is nothing wrong with all of that. It is part of our human experience, it is part of our beauty. But we don’t want to stay stuck in this cycle. We want to acknowledge them just as they are: feelings. When we experience this new realm of reality, when we are willing to surrender to our experience, embrace it and learn from it, we are then ready to be thankful to what happened to us and to move on, grown and stronger than before.

….and what happens next?… what happens after I embrace my feelings and my experience?

I cannot tell You what will happen to You, that will be Your reality and part of Your own path. But I can share with You what happened to me. As soon as I stepped in this process, something amazing started to manifest. My body started healing immediately, I received a phone call who sorted out my financial situation and amazing opportunities opened up for the near future. It seems like somebody was just waiting for me to make this step. It seems like somebody listened to my call. I cannot express the feeling of gratitude I have now in my chest. I’m now certain that no matter what, everything is going to be fine, because, no matter what everything is fine in every moment.

Your turn:

If You are now facing a tough period in one area of Your Life, I’d love to share with You these steps that helped Me to detach, embrace, assess and brake through. I hope this will be useful also for You.

  1.  Take a breath. A very long deep breath.
  2. Focus Your attention on Your hearth, feel Your Heart, feel that sacred space, where no worries or problems are allowed, that place where You are an infinite field of possibilities, that place that is the realm of Love.
  3. Now say to Yourself, like talking to a little child, that everything is perfect as it is. That You are perfect as You are. That there is nothing to be worried about. That everything is fine. Ensure Yourself like You were the most important person in the world.
  4. Now ask Yourself the following questions and write down the first thing that comes into your mind. Don’t judge it, even if it seems it has no sense. Remember, there is no thing that is meaningless.
  5. What is in this experience for me? What can I learn?
  6. What is in this experience for Us? What can We learn?
  7. Knowing what I know now, what can i do different next time?
  8. Knowing what I know now, what can I say to myself next time I’m going to live this experience?
  9. And now be thankful to yourself, be thankful to your experience and be thankful to your emotions.
  10. You are now ready to move, stronger than before, wiser than before, and more focused than before. You now know what to do. Don’t wait more. Do it! and enjoy the gift of Life.

I’d love to hear from You and what do You think about the article.

Please Like this post if you found value here and share your awesome thoughts in the comments below.

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May You always embrace the perfection of Your reality!!

Simone Vincenzi                 ~Your Power to Shine~

 

 

Leadership: a way of Life

“Leadership is diving for a lose ball, getting the crowd involved, getting other players involved, it’s being able to take it, as well as to dish it out. That’s the only way you are going to get respect from the players.” Larry Bird

Good morning to You! I wish I’m finding You well and Happy while writing.

Today is a meaningful day for me, a day of excitement, power, reflection and feelings. Today is a day I’ve been waiting for long time. Tomorrow, with the uberrocking Team Wandsworth, is going to start the Autumn NCS (National Citizen Service), where more than 300 Young Adults will experience a Challenging Leadership program, that will finish with the creation of a social action that will positively impact the life of the community they are living in.

As I stated at the beginning today is a day of feelings… A cocktail of Excitement, Expectation, Expectancy are running through my body, blended in the shaker of Uncertainty and Curiosity. A lot of thoughts are running between my years right now. And the one I picked up to develop in this post is the main reason Why the NCS will be so life changing for the life of these Young Adults.

Leadership…

What is really leadership? It is not just one of the most frequents words used in today’s society. It is not just a skill. It is not just concept.

So…. What is Leadership?

I believe that Larry Bird, one of the best NBA player of all history, flag of the Boston Celtics in the 80’s, is a living example of what, how, who and why a great Leader is.

A Leader, is the person who is the first to jump in and the last to surrender. A Leader is the one who dives for the loose ball, putting aside the fears and should, taking the jump into the risk.

A Leader is the person that with his charisma and actions excites the crowd, and get all the people around involved and willing to support him. A Leader has the ability to excite.

A Leader is the person who takes the risk and responsibility when necessary, but also empowers others to do the same, stepping aside and motivating from the back.

A Leader is the person that through his words and actions is able to get the respect from the others.

A Leader is not just a Leader for one day. Leadership is an attitude. Leadership is a habit.

Leadership is being coherent and true each moment and in each situation.

Leadership is Change.

This is the reason why I’m so excited about NCS. The seeds of leadership will be planted in the adults of tomorrow, the adults that will lead us in the future!!! Come on!! Let’s make it!!

I wish You an empowering day and we see each other in a week!!

ps. I’ll keep an audioblog for updates from the site and I’ll share with you the exciting and challenging experience!

Much Love to You

Because You have the Power to Shine

 

 

The power of saying “NO”.

Hello dear! It Is fantastic to connect with you again.

I hope your day has been amazing such has been mine!

And here we are again, talking tonight about The Power of saying NO.

Reflecting about what was the lesson for me today, few images came into my mind.  2 different moment, with 2 different people, but the same underlying pattern. Both of them were complaining about how much of their life they are spending inside the work environment, their lack of social life and the time to improve it.  I can understand how frustrating this situation can be. The feeling of control gets easily replaced by a feeling of overwhelm and guilt.

Getting to the root of why they are allowing so many things to put off other important areas of their life, the main pattern I have uncovered was, for both of them, the great difficulty to say NO to other people.

And that led me to think about why it is so difficult to say this little word, but soaked with huge emotions attached to it.

Generally people that never say no, are so driven to help out other people, and please others wants and needs, that  they lose the focus on the helper. They care  more about others than they care of themselves. So it seems that the root cause is really remarkable and highly positive. But what is this behaviour leading to? Generally to an increasing sense of frustration for not having accomplished our daily, small or big goals.

So what is the root cause of this behaviour?

Well It comes generally from our childhood and from the set of core values we hold about our life. Some people can have as core value “RECOGNITION”, so they feel good and important just when they are recognised from an external source and they are unconsciously doing everything to meet this value. Other times they can hold the belief that “Is not safe to speak up”, or they might fear of being rejected if they don’t please others (one of our most common and diffused fears). And these fears, limiting beliefs and values might create a sense of guilt, and a drive to overdoing for others. Depleting ourself from the energy that allow us to do what we really want.

Just think about it for a moment.

You might know somebody, maybe very close to you, that have the same behaviour.

I firmly believe that I’m the creator of my own reality, and that episode led me to think about the question. ” What is in me now that is creating this events?”

So I recognise that a lot of times I have the same pattern and behaviour. In particular regarding pleasing others needs and wants for the fear of being rejected from them. And Is in these times that I remind myself a simple thinking process that really helped me develop in this area.

I’ve been introduced to the concept that there is no thing such as NO. There is always Yes. The matter is to see where the Yes is directed to. When we say Yes to others, we are, maybe, saying No to ourself. And when we say No to others we are, maybe, saying Yes to ourself.

When was the last time you said Yes to Yourself?

How did you feel?

I believe that there always must be a balance between the Yes we are saying to ourself and the Yes said to others.

And I’m committed to keep this balance and treat myself like I would treat the person I care most on the Earth. I’ve experienced that just when I feel happy and full of energy I have more impact in other people’s life, and I can be more helpful for them.

Thank for staying with me and if you like the post You might want to subscribe to my youtube channel and the blog, or simply leave a comment

May your journey be always happy!